Scrutiny

I admit to putting off adding a post. I freely, unashamedly, admit my procrastination. I think it would be impossible to honestly submit any thing new regarding the intended direction of this post without knowing the destination myself. One of the most trying things about progressing in all this is maintaining the idea/ideals in your daily life. The expression “static latching” (from Pirsig) is what I use as my phrase for stopping and trying to make some tangible connections between the new concepts and the existing template I live by. The process of pausing to make real the new concepts or awareness, creates a void, temporarily usually, where you are reliving the ancient and comparing it to the current and tossing out anything that does not fit the new template. This is an odd time. If you have ever in your life done or said something that five minutes later you worried may have been wildly inappropriate, you know the feeling during this “static latching” time. Unfortunately, this concern is not a minor fleeting occurrence, it is a pervasive consciousness. It rules all that you do, from how you say “hello” on the phone to how you kiss your fiancé goodnight. The process of studying your actions to such a degree is exhausting. Your mental processes are on full alert, they are studying the outside world, the inside world and the in-between world. If you are fully aware of your new ideas/ideals and you are fully aware of your old template, it still isn’t easy. The ability to toss out old thoughts and emotions so you can act in the new direction usually touches far deeper than some superficial need or urge. It tends to have a root down into the core of who we are, and especially what has made us this way. If in fact you believe in there being one or more core tenets that a person is created by, then you also believe that any of these changes affects one if not multiple core beliefs. The ability to successfully make that change is aided by what I said earlier about knowing the higher value of the new, and recognizing the lower value of the old, but that is not all there is to it. It should be, though. Logically, it would be all that is needed. In a good versus bad distinction, choose good, it seems simple. Ultimately, logic does not apply directly to those core beliefs. It seems that the logic helps you change your actions, but not your beliefs. Look for experience in relation to all this soon…