Fleeting Defiance

For almost a year Esme has been growing more independent, and as her communication skills have expanded beyond crying she has been able to regulate herself better when she doesn't get what she wants, or doesn't want to do something we want her to do. Over the last several weeks there has been a marked increase in her interest in agreeing or disagreeing with everything. There was a quintessential moment on Sunday as we prepared to head to the grocery store. With everyone ready to go, I put Esme in the back seat, on the opposite side from the car seat, and Angie locked the front door. While Esme and I waited, we played for a minute. I hid under the window line and would pop up to surprise her, she began to do the same thing. Angie went around to the other side to buckle Esme in to the seat, but began playing along with the little game. We all played in the back seat for a few minutes then decided we should get moving so Angie asked Esme to move to the other side so she could buckle her in. Instead of the normal compliance, or equally normal (although less frequent) resistance, Esme looked at Angie, then back at me and decided, that "No, thanks, I'm not quite done playing yet." She looked at Angie, shook her head "no" to Angie's request to come to her and get in the seat, than looked back at me, expectantly waiting for me to continue to play. Although amused by Esme's decision to not listen to her mother, I knew we were at a crucial point since Esme had handled it so calmly. I stifled my chuckle and explained carefully to Esme that we needed to go and we were done playing for now, and she needed to let her mother buckle her up. Again, she evaluated the situation, shook her head "no" and ducked behind the window gleefully resuming play. Still smiling, and not acting remotely disapproving, I said "Nope honey, time to go!" enthusiastically, and shepherded her over to Angie's side who also in a fun voice said "We can play later, let's go to the store now!" The transition was seamless and Esme settled into her car seat babbling happily. I'm certain that we have had equally smooth transitions, but in this instance all the decisions were very clear, and the motivations equally so. While I am a proud dad for this, I know it won't always go so smoothly, perhaps that is why it stood out.

On a biking related note, I rode 45 miles on Sunday, the longest I have ridden since my accident. So far no pains different from the exertion. Maybe my healing is about wrapped up.